I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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