The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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