Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
