wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
