YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
