Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
