There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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