don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
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His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
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Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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