I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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