just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
