Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
