My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
