he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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