Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
