Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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