1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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