omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
