So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
two words: eviction party
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
