When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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