yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
birth control should be required to get into college
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
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