My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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