he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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