1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Im part way to drunk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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