Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
