turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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