That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize