fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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