i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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