I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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