finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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