The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize