My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
