to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
