Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
