I cockslap morals
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
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How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life