I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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