know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
