he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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