Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize