Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
where am i from again
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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