Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
