so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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