why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
