is your mom at the bar?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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