Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize