After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
