I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
