Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
