Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
