we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize