He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
