Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize