he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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