Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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