OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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