OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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