so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
