I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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