Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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